“Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction”
I found this quote while I was looking at wall stickers to dress up my dreary dorm room on monday. I swear to God just looking at the room drained all creative process from my mind. Not that I think that's what the president of my university was going for. Oh no, I think he got some of those workers in those Extreme Makeover shows to come and give it the most depressing vibe possible to discourage students from getting down and jiggy with it while in the room. Just the feel of the dorm should kill all urges. I don't even think rabbits could "get it on" in there. In fact, if they made a room big enough to fit the whole rabbit species there, I'm pretty sure they would become endangered from lack of reproduction. I'm not exaggerating or being dramatic or anything. Anywhozzle.
Back to the quote. Ugh, ok so my friend is going to this college completely because of one reason, or should I say for one person. See now at first you're like "yeah I've seen girlfriends or boyfriends follow each other before, nothing new." But here's the thing- they're not dating. He doesn't even like her that way....and does not plan to hang out with her at all. Now does it seem a little more odd than usual? She even has planned to live here for the rest of her life for this guy. Yea. And she's alway's super depressed...as in therapy depressed. When she is though, she never tries to cheer herself up...she want her guy to come and "save her." She won't even talk to her other friends. She wants to have her love rescue her and define who she is. She seems to think love will "make her." I've seen a guy friend do this to. And my answer to that sort of thinking is this... WHAT THE HECK?!?!?
I keep seeing this idea time and time again these days. In girls, in boys, in life, in movies. Look at Twilight. ( Don't worry Frankie I'm not a twi-lover, the reference will be over in a second.) In it Bella and Edward have no life outside of each other. When they're apart they literally ball up on the floor and cry. And people look at this and are all "wow that's true love, because they're nothing without each other." To me that isn't love at all. I see some people these days don't try to make them selves happy, or make their own future, or have a life of their own, or anything, because they think that's what love is for. They just give up any aspect of their old life and self for "love."To them, love should be the reason for all, and should be all-consuming. But love should never be all consuming to me...at least not like that. We should never give up ourselves and expect love to make up for our entire existence, because our existence is what makes up love. Two persons combined. Both are needed. Because it takes two halves to make a whole, and like it or not, you're one of the halves. And people can't expect the other person to complete their half for them, like some knight in shining armor. That's the WORST thing about these people to me....it's like they expect the magic of love to fix everything and to stay strong and beautiful like in the fairytales.....but they never in vision ( Or is it in-vision? Or is that a word? O.K. if I wrote anything wrong, worry not I did it on purpose to make it seem like cool ghetto/rap slang. I do it alllll for you Snoop Dogg! It is two g's right?) having to do anything themselves for things to work out. And you never her them think of whether their lover will need help at all. To me....I don't know I think the whole "knight in shining armor" thing is kind of selfish... when I hear that I just want to look at the person and be all "So when you stop doing your part, you expect the other person to just make up for all the things you've lost? You expect them to do all the work? And what about them? They're supposed to complete you, yes, but aren't you also supposed to complete them? How can you do that if you given up on yourself, on all the aspects?" Everyone should try hard to be a whole person, so they can do their part. You can't decide to be nothing without another person, or they for you. Because when two nothing's come together...it still adds up to nothing. I know I keep seeming like a grammar idiot by pairing singulars like "everyone" with plurals such as "they," but honestly I'm too lazy to do it the right way. And as I said, I do it for The Snoop.
I feel like people believe love is this weird mystical outside force that will just fix all their problems and make their life and journey and reason and everything. So they let themselves go, stop being who they are or who they would've been, and expect their love to do everything, be everything. But love can't do that. As said in The Wedding Planner, "love is just love." It can't be everything. Love can't be the life journey, because love isn't life...it just makes it worth while. And is shouldn't be the only thought for the future either. Love should never mean sacrificing a whole person, or their life, ya dig? At least thats my opinion. That's why I like that quote. Because the two lovers don't give up themselves to give to one another, nor do they forget about and ignore the rest of life, they instead add on to each other and their lives. And I'm not saying don't give up anything for love....I'm just saying you can't give up your whole self. Am I making any sense Frankie, or am I just rambling and babbling?
Well, what I'm basically saying is this: don't wait for love to make you or your journey in life. Because when it comes, love is supposed to add on to you, and assist you on your uhhhh life path. That's how it goes. Or maybe that's just me. Perhaps I'm just a love-pessimist. Anyway.....I feel all spiritual now.
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